Were about to Party it like its 1857
Lets remember why were taking this road trip to SLC in the first place.
Benjamin Kowalsky
Sep 24th 2010

Why anyone would want to go to Salt Lake City except to laugh (if thats still legal) is beyond me. And yet, I am going to get on a bus at 4 oclock in the AM to go to this place. Because I am going to watch a soccer match.

Its that time of year again. And were about to bring it to Utah like General Albert Sidney Johnston right hurr:

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Foundation.

Look at that mustache. Its unbelievable.

There have been some bloggers who have whined about "why are the Rapids even our rivals, anyway? Were so much better than them!" And in response to that Im going to do something that other Rapids fans may say privately (possibly in the bathroom or closet, when they think no one is listening) but should never be ashamed of:

RSL may be the best side that the MLS has ever produced.

Look at the numbers people. Its staggering. RSL has become continually better and better each year. They may become the first ever MLS team to win a Champions League (if they can ever beat a Mexican team, that is). They have a fantastic coaching staff, amazing balance to the squad which means they perform well despite having no DPs. And they have done this in only 5 years.

We shouldnt be afraid to admit this. I think all too often in sports its fashionable to say "oh well they suck!" Frankly, RSL fans may be able to make that case better than we can. Its hard to tell the Champs that they suck. Because clearly they dont.

But if they sucked, what would that say about our Rapids? That we get knocked out of the Playoffs for the past two years by a team that sucks? Really? Do you want to say that? I certainly dont. I dont like that we got knocked out. Not at all, But if you want to get knocked out, you want to get knocked out by the future Champs.

And if those Champs werent RSL, that might have been a little more comforting.

The RSL fan argument for "why are the Rapids even our rivals anyway? Were so much better!" is ridiculous. Rivalries are with the fans, not with the teams. So regardless of how good or bad a team is, the fans are the ones who carry the rivalry. And in that sense, the rivalry has less to do with anyone being "better" than anyone else, and more to do with personal stuff.

Like, complaining about the Rapids FO being a bunch of stupid jerks. Like the RSL FO is just a bunch of peaches to Rapids fans. Even though we put just as much money into their pockets as anyone else in those seats (which would normally just go empty)

Face it, people: a large group of Visiting Fans make an FO nervous. Why? Because there could be fights breaking out. People could get too drunk and rowdy. Though, if youre older than 15, its very difficult to get drunk off of 3.2% beer. The Rapids FO may well worry about the beer-and-freedom starved RSL fans coming to gorge themselves on plenty both before returning to their hole.

So lets just get to the real reason RSL fans hate the Rapids fans:

They hate our freedom.

I mean, lets look at a couple things here. Just while we are on the topic of fans. Hey RSL fans, do you have one of these?!?

Photo Credit: shivakalpa.org

SEE THAT? THATS A CANNON. WE HAVE ONE. IT FIRES EVERY TIME WE SCORE A GOAL. SETS OFF MORE SMOKE THAN YOUD FIND COMING OUT OF OMAR CUMMINGS AND KYLE BECKERMANS DORM ROOM:

Dont hate, bitches.

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

Image credit: San Francisco Chronicle

I know, I know. You guys hate the Mormon jokes.

But seriously. This match is huge for the fans. RSL fans can complain all they want about "awww, why are THEY our rivals?" but they still will show up, hopefully in record numbers. They love the trash talk just as much as we do. And they love watching the games just as much as we do. So dont go out and pretend that you dont LOVE this rivalry. Or that youre above it. Because youre not. I certainly am not.

Oh and hey RSL guys, I just want to let you know that when Colorado brings the Rocky Mountain Cup home to the DSG, you can bet the fans are going to fill it with plenty of this:

Pictured here: real beer.

And no more of this nonsense:

Pictured here: godawful swill.

In conclusion: RSL is a fantastic side. I will be surprised and ecstatic if the Rapids can pull out a win at Rio Tinto, with all odds against them. I expect an upset this year, and there really is no better place than Rio Tinto to make a statement for the fans and for the MLS as a whole: The Rapids are ascending now.

And I cant wait to fill the Rocky Mountain Cup with the tears and snotty sobs of the RSL faithful.

Ill see you in Utah.

No upcoming events.

Sponsored By

Three Lions
British Bulldog