The COSC Feed - Apr 24th 2012
Rapids Week Seven Match Report
Paul Merrit
Apr 25th 2012

Photo: Ian Forget / BSG

Goodevening kiddies… the Feed comes to you this week from a semi shitty hotel roomin Reston, VA… where dreams and commutes less than 30 minutes in length come todie. I grew up in Florida but now that I live in a more reasonable part of thecountry I find myself hating trips to the East Coast. Shits just too busy outhere I suppose.

Look atthat…. It’s already sketchy analogy time!

So…maybe you had an uncle or something when you were a young adult. He takes youout one night, and just like something out of a frat boy inspired “Field ofDreams” remake the beers and shots start flowing a little bit after dinner andnext thing you know… HOLY CRAP… I’M GETTING HOUSED WITH A FAMILY MEMBER! Theinherent wrongness of the situation overtakes you. You have another shot…maybe even a car bomb… failing the whole time to notice that your new favoriteelder relative shut down the serious boozing an hour or so ago. Inhibitionsfall away as you tip back a generous portion of room temperature Cabo Wabo and revelin the fact that there’s actually someone in your family as cool as you are…

6:30 AMSunday morning. Cue the pounding headache and “I’m never drinking again”sentiments. Cue the cat crapped under my tongue taste. Etc, etc, etc.

To makea long story slightly, uh… not as long the preceding anecdote pretty much sumsup Sunday, April 22nd 2012 for Mr. Merritt. I had some good friendsin town, we had some beers, it was nice out… and I got a little sloshed. If Ispilled Strongbow on you after Omar’s wunderstrike I apologize. Trust me,having to get up and fly to the belly of the beast the following morning ispunishment enough.

Anyways…let’s talk about the match for a minute before I climb up on the soapbox..

DaddyLikey – I’veyet to watch the replay, but I really liked what I saw in person Saturdaynight! We were organized and composed, and for the most part we looked like ateam that was on the same page offensively. Omar and Mullan even got in on thecreativity a little bit. Quite honestly I feel like the big difference in thetwo teams in the first half was the fact that LA put their opportunities in theback of the net and we put ours in the lap of that nice lady from Highlands Ranch. I’ve never really been one to “what if” shit to death, but what if Trick orTreat does a little better with that Donovan strike that got under him andHill’s volley finds nylon? This could have been a different column.

OMARCOMING YO– Remember that left foot laser Cummings drilled a couple years back atBlackberry Bold Field or whatever those insufferable neon green bastards callthat place? That’s one of my favorite goals because of who it was against andthe fact that Omar hit it with his left foot. His strike Saturday nightwas cut from the same cloth, but had an element of class to it given thecomposure he exhibited in shucking his defender prior to letting it fly. Is heleft footed? He took that God awful excuse for a penalty that won’t stoplooping in my nightmares with his right foot, but I have no idea and apparentlythe Rapids don’t either because his dominate foot isn’t listed on his playerprofile. I mean it’s great to know dude majored in Criminal Justice atCincinnati and all.. but still. In other news, Mr. Cummings is on pace to beoffside a mind blowing 45 times this year. If Omar from “The Wire” spent asmuch time in East Baltimore as Omar from the Rapids spends offside he wouldhave never made it through season 2. Anyways, if you haven’t seen the goal yetswing by, throw it a vote, and bask in what I can only imagine to be stellar off-footedness.

Soyeah, those are the two big takeaways for me this week. We are getting morecomfortable in our own skin and honestly we haven’t been THAT bad consideringthe new system and this ridiculous schedule. Now on to the awkward bit…

So…the beer can – Lookhere’s the deal...

Wearen’t Ultras.

Thisisn’t Green Street Hooligans.

You’renot hard.

Youmight think it’s cool to watch a River Plate match and see the Jurassic Parkfences and the moat around the pitch, but the truth of the matter is you wouldpiss your diaper if you were dropped off in that violent and frenzied atmosphereand left to fend for yourself. No worries though, because it’s never going toget like that here. Those of us that go to the match to enjoy ourselves andsupport the Burgundy Boyz won’t let it.

Sincewe are airing out dirty laundry and all…

Notsinging doesn’t make you the cool kid – We pack those terraces every weekendto have a good time and sing for our Colorado Rapids. If that’s not your thingthat’s fine, but the terraces might not be your scene. I’m not saying you’renot welcome, I’m not even saying you have to sing. All I ask is that you keepthe smart ass comments and condescending smirks about those of us that arethere to make noise and express our love for the Boyz to yourself. If you’renot down there to get rowdy, what are you doing there anyway? The view’s a lotbetter from the stands and the tickets aren’t that much more expensive. Thatbeing said, If you want to sing but don’t know the words or are a littleembarrassed because you don’t know anyone, just look for me. I’ll teach youall the chants, buy you a Strongbow, and probably dump half of mine on you whenwe score. If you’re alright with that I promise you we’ll have a good time.


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